As I type this, I am exhausted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This past month has been non-stop with life-changing events, to me personally and to people around me. And to admit my fragility in these times feels wrong in the face of a unique American determinism – “manifest what you want!” – sometimes the truth is just the truth and I actually cannot control much of what’s happening around me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This helpless feeling does not feel great. The feeling that death is coming, that emotion will run hot, that things are getting worse and worse; it leads to a feeling of malaise, of depression, of a condition not even soft-serve ice cream or a big hug can assuage. And that’s a tall order; sometimes, that’s all you need to temporarily put aside the notion that things are bad because, surely, they’ll get better. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But to be at a point where you can’t enjoy something because of a feeling of existential dread, there’s something wrong. And even though there is a movement to dismiss those feelings as not valid – “It’s all in your head!” – it’s not a feeling that can be shaken easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that’s where I am. Dread and foreboding rules everything around me, and that cloud doesn’t look to be lifting any time soon. And I wish it would; I got shit to do!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As I type this, I am exhausted. This past month has been non-stop with life-changing events, to me personally and to people around me. And to admit my fragility in these times feels wrong in the face of a unique American determinism – “manifest what you want!” – sometimes the truth is just the truth […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=287"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":289,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions\/289"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}