My father turns 84 today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But he is currently in a memory facility, living out his days confused, under the pall of Alzheimers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All I would have to say to him – happy birthday, what did you eat yesterday, who am I – would be met with a stare and a questioning look on his face, a face I will grow into if I live to be that long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is no need for bringing up memories, or what ifs. No need for reminisces that have been lost in the sands of time to a cruel bitch named Dementia. We have gone beyond the questions every child wonders of their parents and, if they’re lucky, can ask one day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Are you proud of me?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Did I do okay?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the things that well-adjusted kids want to say to their parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You did okay.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m thankful.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even with a man with whom I have…issues with. A man who told me that I wasn’t family, that I wasn’t important, that showed me that being abandoned by those you love is a very real and very possible outcome in life. I can’t talk to him, can’t ask him anything of substance, can’t tell him, at least, thanks for doing his part in making me physically while damaging what he could mentally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I’ll wish him a happy birthday from afar, and mourn what was and could have been, and hope for a day where he can sit and find comfort in muddled thoughts. I can hope he eats well, and something at his facility reminds him of something good, something he can’t quite remember, but knows it makes him happy, and he smiles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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My father turns 84 today. But he is currently in a memory facility, living out his days confused, under the pall of Alzheimers. All I would have to say to him – happy birthday, what did you eat yesterday, who am I – would be met with a stare and a questioning look on his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-commentary","tag-personal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=446"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":447,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions\/447"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tallblackguy.com\/write\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}