Well, getting older, bills, things like that; they suck. But it’s really sucktastic to watch people get older and infirm.

Currently, my bio-dad is experiencing dementia. On top of that, he has advanced cataracts and high blood pressure. He lives alone in the woods, in a house he built himself 40+ years ago. He is the oldest sibling.

While growing up, he had the gravitas of a royal, a head of state. Now, he doesn’t remember where he is, in a town he’s lived most of his life. To watch that mental deterioration has been hard, made even harder by family members who insist that what they’re seeing is not true. “He’s fine.” “He’s just kidding when he says he doesn’t know where he is.”

To deny the reality in front of you, to say that all is well in the face of al the evidence it is not, is a frustrating thing to watch. If you won’t name the problem, identify it, then you cannot and will not address it fully and with the grace that requires. Can’t take the medicine if you won’t acknowledge you’re sick. Won’t eat unless you can say you’re hungry.

Yeah, this sucks.